Finding Words

Reading to find words. Find the words of the expressed thoughts of someone else, find words that I can share to express my thoughts in a moment. 

 These words from 'My Antonia' by Willa Cather expressed what I thought I might be trying to feel one morning at chore time - winter coming in and the tree standing in the field, alone and true. "In the morning, when I was fighting my way to school against the wind, I couldn't see anything but the road in front of me; but in the late afternoon, when I was coming home, the town looked bleak and desolate to me. The pale, cold light of the winter sunset did not beautify -- it was like the light of truth itself. When the smoky clouds hung low in t he west and the red sun went down behind them, leaving a pink flush on the snowy roofs and the blue drifts, then the wind sprang up afresh, with a kind of bitter song, as if it said: 'This is reality, whether you like it or not. All those frivolities of summer, the light and shadow, the living mask of green that trembled over everything, they were lies, and this is what was underneath. This is the truth.' It was as if we were being punished for the loveliness of summer."

Days passed and I began to feel that I disagreed with the notion of 'the frivolity of summer'. The tree trunk was there underneath, providing strength and form and function, but I refuse to say that it is more 'true'. Summer is true, even if just for a (short) season. The seasons of my life are true, even if short. The green times, the lively times. They are all hung on the truth of me, us. I cannot even say that I am certain to the extent that I understand the true form of being human. It would seem that much of human reality is hung in and amongst and between the leaves. The dentridic branches of the brain's neural networkds reaching to support and form and give life to the mind of me.